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Love Yourself First: A Matter of Life or Death

​Love yourself first: It's a matter of life or death. Loving yourself first is not selfish. It’s mandatory.

After being unable to connect with a dear friend for a few weeks, after sometimes getting voice mail and sometimes seeing a call come in from her number, I feared the worst.

​And then it happened


​I got the dreaded message when I last called, “This number is no longer in service.”

My friend  sometimes talked to me in her native Pakistani language,  Urdu, until she realized my puzzled look was due to my not understanding her words. She told me I was her sister (including me with her natural siblings). She included me in all kinds of family events even traveling together to a major family ​gathering.

The last time we spoke she sounded awful. She was resting from chemo. The cancer had returned. She was too weak to talk.

I have lost so many friends, women friends, in recent years. This one hit me harder than all the rest because our 20 year friendship truly was one of family.

I have written and made videos and talks about the need to love yourself first, placing your own needs ahead of taking care of the rest of the world.

No, not in a selfish manner but in a way of taking care of honoring yourself as a physical body with very real needs for survival, And as a Divine Spirit with  spiritual needs.

The bottom line is you cannot give what you do not have.

This was the hardest blog post I ever wrote. It took me days to come to a place where I can share - and implore you to love yourself first.

Loving yourself first means honoring and respecting your needs so you can be your best you. Then, and only then, can you truly be there for others.

Frankly, when you do not know how to love yourself first or you fail to meet your own needs you cannot possibly love another person. You can only live what you know. When you do not know love you can only know about love.

Your family and friends will feel the difference between love and acts playing at love - not consciously but in their hearts.

Please share this message and video with every every person you know—most especially your female friends who are in danger of making the ultimate sacrifice as so many of my friends have done.

About the Author Ali Bierman

Ali Bierman has been a relationship expert most of her life. As a wife of 32 years, mother, psychotherapist, specialized kinesiologist, ordained metaphysical minister, author, teacher, family member and friend, she brings a unique perspective to her work. Change happens instantly in Ali's world. What takes a long time, and maybe never happens for some people, is getting ready to change.

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