I made this Times of Your Life clock to celebrate my mom's 80th birthday. Captured precious moments featuring family members and special occasions highlight and honor the life of Edie Bierman.
The Spirit lives as a whole and perfect entity despite appearances.
The story of my mom’s transition actually happened over a five year period. For details on what went awry, to discover what can happen to a mind that is not about dementia or Alzheimer/s but something possibly even more sinister, grab my gift, Nobody Ever Dies.
One of the most impactful experiences of my life came in the care-taking of my mother during the last ten months of her life. In addition to her devastating physical deterioration, my mom's mental functioning was like that of a two-year old. She was unable to do anything for herself. She thought I was her mother. She clung to me and was uncomfortable when I was out of her sight.
When my mom had the mini-stroke that took away her ability to live on her own, I was just completing a three-year struggle to rebuild my own life following a brain injury. There I was, 49 years old, just ready to take on living my own life again for the first time when I became my mother's parent around-the-clock.
I felt cheated and very angry. I resented having to put my life on hold yet again--indefinitely. I did not know she was dying at the time. To me, this was the ultimate unwilling sacrifice that could last many years.
I made the situation all about me and how my mom's illness affected me. No matter how I looked at the situation, all I saw were unfair circumstances coupled with cruel timing.
I received a priceless gift when I heard someone say, "It is never about you. It is always about the other person." While the words came from a salesman teaching how to make sales, the message instantly changed my world.
I thought about what it must be like for my mom, this amazing woman who had run all three of her boss' businesses and single-handedly raise my brother and me at a time when women did not work outside the home. In that moment, and for the rest of her life, I felt only love, honor, respect, and never-ending gratitude for this amazing Spirit who birthed and raised me the best way she .
In the end (of course no one knew the end fast approached) I held my Mom and hugged her all day--and most of the night--for the last three months of her life. I did everything for her. I was completely drained. Caring for my mom constituted a physical and emotional challenge of unfathomable proportions.
Those three months taught me the true meaning of love. Caring for my mom was one of the greatest gifts of my life.
On two separate occasions during those last three months, my mom had long periods of being completely lucid. I was talking with the mom I had known all my life until her mental state shifted at age eighty.
Just the two of us - no one else was privileged to experience how the Spirit is truly whole and perfect in every moment. I so clearly got the message that we are, indeed, Divine Spirits living human experiences - not human beings and certainly not human doings.
We had the most meaningful conversations we ever had in those precious moments. We said everything we needed to say to each other, so all wounds were healed and my mom could leave this lifetime knowing how much she was cherished. I could live my life knowing I did all I could do for her. More importantly, she was aware of that truth.
She looked into my eyes and told me, “You are the only one who takes care of me.” Oh, my goodness! All those frustrating moments when I could not get her to cooperate as I needed her to, when I could not get her out of the rain into the car when she would not get in, all the times she opened the door when we headed down the highway at 60 MPH and my heart jumped into my throat…all the moments of terror not knowing if she would jump off her balcony because she saw a cruise ship and she wanted to go aboard.
In those two moments, when time seemed to stand still, I learned another invaluable lesson: the soul perpetually exists as a perfect and intact entity. The soul is omnipresent. Regardless of the physical or emotional or mental state of the human being, the soul knows exactly what is happening. The person may not be able to communicate. The soul, being the True person, always knows every minute, in great detail, about that Divine Spirit.
We really are Divine Beings living human experiences. Even through all that horrific suffering, I knew my mom's soul remained at Peace. I feel so grateful for that knowing, for that present.
Now I live my life being in service to others, no hidden agendas or expectations. I feel free to love people just as they are and just as they are not. Now I really understand that people come here to work together to create our world.
In every encounter, we are at once teacher and student. We come to share our gifts with others. We also come to receive gifts from others.
At the age of eleven, a popular magazine read in schools all across the United States, Junior Scholastic, posed the question, “Why were we created?” They published my succinct, from my heart response.
When I went through my period of existentialism during my late teens I looked back at my response as rather naive. Actually, now as a metaphysical minister I clearly understand I already knew then what I live now as I wrote - and they printed, “To build, create, and enjoy the wonderful world in which we live.”
I am not saying the world is perfect. I am not saying life is easy - and yet I am. It is all in how you choose to see events.
After all, no event has any meaning other than the interpretation we give it. Which means we create how we feel about every big thing and every little thing.
Perhaps the most important lesson I learned and teach is love is the answer to everything. To love, you first must love yourself. It is not selfish. It is mandatory. Of course, to love yourself first you must know who you are.
You are not who you think you are. You are not who others think you are.
Ready to discover your True Self? Turns out assisting that exploration for others defines my reason for being here - my mission and my purpose. Before incarnating to this lifetime, you and Spirit determined the lessons you wanted to learn by coming here at this time to your family and your set of circumstances.
No, your life is not predetermined. Your destiny is never set in stone. While you came here to fulfill a purpose and live a mission, how you get from point A to point B is entirely in your hands.
Ali Bierman has been a relationship expert most of her life. As a wife of 32 years, mother, psychotherapist, specialized kinesiologist, ordained metaphysical minister, author, teacher, family member and friend, she brings a unique perspective to her work. Change happens instantly in Ali's world. What takes a long time, and maybe never happens for some people, is getting ready to change.
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