Category Archives for Relationships

When my mom turned 80 she started seeing things the rest of us did not see. And that would have been fine except...one day I walked into her home and found her in the kitchen getting a knife to kill herself. She said she had to take her life before "they" hurt her.

Thank goodness I was a psychotherapist and knew the mental health system and how to get help.

Clearly she was a danger to herself.

​Strength gets you through the tough times - physical and emotional. To thrive, develop your personal strength in both areas.

​ You get to choose how to face the situations that will come up in life.

​What is fear?  Fear is taking an experience out of your past and projecting it into your future - all because a current event triggered a painful memory.

Fear  stops you from living life full out. Fear keeps you stuck in the ho hum existence of just making it through each day without exciting challenges or demands to move you out of your “know” zone.

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​How does fear happen?

​Relationship arithmetic describes how romantic relationships  evolve from first introductions, through friendship, to love and partnership.

What happens after the honeymoon phase ends?

Get the total picture of how to build that amazing romantic relationship that lasts. ​

​Seeing is believing?

The way you see your world, yourself and the people and events in it, has nothing to do with what you perceive with your eyes. ​

What impacts your vision in ways that run your life?

​Transformation vs change. What's the difference? When you make changes does your life, in fact, change in any significant and PERMANENT way?

​Forget the temporary fixes that do not work. 

​Ready for your permanent life overhaul?

​Love languages vary from person to person. What you need to know that you are loved is probably very different from what your partner or family members or friends need to feel loved.

Consequently all of your important relationships may feel rocky because you and those you care about speak different love languages. Neither of you feels truly loved by the other. Is that accurate?

What do I mean by love languages?

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​Man is a social being. As humans we succeed and lead healthier, happier lives when in community than when isolated from other people.

When people ask for help, when people offer assistance without being asked, when people accommodate requests by others to help out in any situation, the sense of community builds.

Man is a social being by nature.

The more people do together the more the entire neighborhood benefits. Cooperation is automatic - built in to people. Life flows when that sharing nature is allowed to prosper freely.

An old Buddhist saying explains that, "How you do anything is how you do everything." Which means you duplicate the relationship (and other) patterns you live in any one area all across your life.

That assumption forms the basis for competency based therapy. The microcosm of the client-therapist relationship follows the same interaction styles that the client exhibits in the macrocosm that his world outside the therapy unit.

Huh?

How the client interacts with the therapist reveals the identical style the client uses in his personal and professional lives. Makes sense, right?

Each person has a unique communication style.

​Love NOW. ​You can only act in this present moment - or this one - or this one... Only the present exists.

You cannot live in the future any more than you can live in the past. Neither time exists. That is why they call the now the present! It is your gift to move your life forward in the direction of your dreams.

​Only ONE solution exists for every real or imagined issue​.

AND you can only create it NOW.
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